Murder of the Queen's language Part II

Here are a few more gems:

Harmonical imbalance- This colleague of mine is getting married by the end of this month. You know how girls are. If they're getting married, they get laser surgery done for their eyes, they get some kind of treatment doe for their skin, some crap for their skin, go on a diet (more on that later) and start exercising like crazy to lose all that fat that has accumulated over the past 24-25 years of their life (seriously?) Anyway, this girl is no different. While she was speaking to this other colleague of mine, she kept harping on how she was naturally skinny and how the drugs given by her doctor for the facial pimples had led to Harmonical Imbalance in her body and had caused her to put on weight. Yes, you read it right. Harmonical imbalance. Ah, harmonically imbalanced hormonal imbalance, who would have thought?

Getting numerous testis done- Yeah, I know. Don't squirm, allow me to explain! So, the girl I was talking about just above, who wants to undergo laser surgery and some treatment for her skin had and still has to undergo numerous testis. Tests pronounced with an added "I".. selfishness is bad.. in many ways!

Saying anyways, any which ways, no ways- Kill me. Now. I know you youngsters just love your lingo. Hey, I am one among you. But, what I hate is the use of the previously mentioned words. WHY? How about just "anyway", "any which way", "no way"? You really need an Oxford English Dictionary. Get one. Go through it. Please. For me and the future of the English language. And for your English paper.

Interchanging "then" and "than"- If I prepare this report, will we than finalize it? Okay! Lets do it than! Other then that do we have any work? No? Lets go jump into the well! Go get your English right rather than just your looks and then talk! I don't know how to explain the correct usage, just Google.

I didn't knew that- Who knew? You didn't knew? Oh well, I didn't know either! I'm not even going to try to explain this one.

I read it in the paper (TOI 18.07.13) and it read that Brits have started using the term "wicked" instead of a heartfelt "thank you". Wicked? Wicked? Wicked? So, my boyfriend gives me flowers and I go "Wicked!" Ditto for a birthday card, good luck card, congratulations card, wedding anniversary card, Mother's day card, Father's day card, Children's day card and, is there an end to this, really? Dear Lord, would you say "wicked" instead of "thank you" if someone offered you their condolences? Ugh! Imagine me paying the taxi wala the fare and giving him a "wicked!" instead of a "thank you!" .. what the F!

Comments are most welcome!!