Guys, men, boys, the male species!

Image courtesy: http://www.postmodernsass.com/blogger/uploaded_images/BoysAreStupid-759160.jpg

You guys are idiots. No, really. You are all idiots! Seriously, your level of understanding is at par with seven year olds. Even an eight year old girl would think from a better angle.

Okay, fine, I'm just pissed off. I mean, the guys I do have a crush on seem to not notice me and the guys I had a crush on look like shit now and I go "Really? I wanted him!?" Seriously! What is with you guys? When I do like you, I am not noticed. Hell! It is not my fault that I am independent. It is not my fault that I do not require help from guys most of the time. 

"Ha Ha! Yo! Shreesha! You drive the vehicle. Yo! Shreesha, lets drink until the girls cook dinner! Yo! Shreesha! Let us veg in front of the T.V watching stupid superhero movies! Yo! Shreesha! Let us talk about sex and make dirty jokes and make the other girls uncomfortable!"

Yes! I enjoy doing all that shit. No, I do not have the patience for shopping. No, I do not have the patience for gossip, I get my earful and mouthful from bitching (did that even sound right?) Yes, I am a huge disappointment as far as the female species go. BUT, HEY!! I AM A GIRL! You want proof? Look at me! And bloody hell, I like you. Yes, you! How the fuck is that not obvious? I am laughing at your every joke (however stupid), I am dressing well (unlike the others :-) ) and I have no idea what else to add. Yes, I help you with the driving and the talks and all that shit, but, I want you too! Hell, when we got drunk, do you know what a tough time I had with keeping my hands and myself in check? What did I want to do, you ask? I don't know, smooch you, rip your shirt off and ask you to bed. No, no. Don't you dare judge me. That is what crushes are all about when you hit the adult side of the 20s. In college, crushes were all about hearts and red and pink and balloons and all that crap. Growing up, you realize all that was indeed crap and need something more. For me, at this juncture, where stress relief factors play a major role, all I can think about is alcohol and sex. Seriously! "Dear Lord, he looks so good, he talks very well. Hmm, quite an intellect, good personality.. hmm.. I think I may even like him.." A couple of days and bham!! You are fantasizing. Don't deny it. You are making a fool of yourself. 

And my crush doesn't even realize any of this. No, no. At 6 feet height and all that knowledge of accountancy, common sense seems to have taken a backseat at least as far as basic human needs go, if you know what I mean. Argh! And he thinks of me as a kid. Well, take that thought and shove it up your ass. I am super pissed off.

And, remember Mr. Shreesha Iyengar? He is another fool. Simply out of this world! He got a job. Yay! Shreesha happy. But, Shreesha pissed off too. Why? Well, since his life has taken a turn for the better, things with his girlfriend are all rosy. I'm happy and all, but, I have been left behind. I'm not talking competition or anything. I'm saying guys should have the basic courtesy to maintain contact with someone who has helped you through difficult times. Wait. Not just guys. People, in general. Why the fuck do I never find myself on the side where I end up leaving people who have helped me? That's right, I am a good girl! :-)

Okay, I am sleepy and bored and addicted to the Lungi Dance song, especially the "Yo! Yo! Honey Singh!" part :-P Needed to rant and I have done the same. 

Good night and Happy Independence Day, in advance!!

Comments are most welcome!!

Mr. Shreesha Iyengar

This is a letter to someone. The one that I have a hunch I'll ultimately end up with. I have absolutely no guts to tell it to his face, I choose the cowardly way of doing so, blogging about it under an alias.

The contents ahead are personal. I clearly don't mind anyone reading it, but him. Read it if you want to know one of my innermost secrets or read it as fiction or read it for whatever reason you want. I just have to let it out.

Hi, Mr. Shreesha Iyengar

We met in school. I was an outsider. We got along well, you taught me to play tennis. We were good friends. We went on a school picnic and had fun there as well. I left for Mumbai, we kept in touch through Y! Messenger. I will still maintain that I called you, twice, from here, sneaking money away from home to go to the STD booth to call you (Initial days of moving to Mumbai). I don't know why you never bothered. While chatting on IM, you told me you loved me while I was helping you out with this other girl at your college. You said it didn't work out with her because of your feelings for me. You wanted something between us. Considering the distance between us, I said no. We remained friends. Due to the distance, the "keeping-in-touch" was on and off. When we did speak, it was for a long duration and very deep. Then my best friend tells me one day "Did you see his Orkut profile? It says committed." It was a shock, no less. i asked you and you said, yes, you had a girlfriend. I felt deeply hurt that you didn't tell me. When I asked you for a reason why you didn't tell me of this development, you said "I didn't want you to blabber it to your friends here that you are keeping in contact with." What, am I not supposed to tell my BFF from this former city I lived in that a guy friend from our school had said that he loved me? I was saddened and hurt and angry and depressed that you now belonged to someone else. I made my peace with it and stayed as civil I could with you. You were and are dumb enough to not notice the spitting of words from my side. We have been in contact quite a lot this past month. i like it. We have connected very well. Suddenly, I am able to talk to you about just anything under the sun, really, anything. Because I know for a fact that you will not judge me, no matter what. I loved it when you responded the same way when I said "I don't think I'd be able to talk shit like this with anyone, least of all, future boyfriend/husband!" You are going through a rough patch now. Your Princess is yet to tell her parents about you while they are in a hurry to get her married off, you are having trouble finding a job. You said she is holding back at the moment after just telling you "find a job and come speak to my father"; I hate that bitch to leave you in a lurch like that! You made it clear in other words that I will be the last resort for you, if Princess is sent off with someone else and the "I love you" that you gave me on IM a couple of years ago, has just become a "Princess knows I have a crush on you." Speaking to you today, on 29.06.13 for close to two hours on the phone, while you were drunk gave me a sudden intuition (epiphany?) that we are supposed to be together. I don't know why that is, I don't know whether I am over you, I don't know what grip you have over me, I don't know what my love toward you is, just friendship or something more. We talk a lot, but anything and everything. We are perfect together. you talk more to me than to your girlfriend. I know that she doesn't like me even though you say "she has no problem." Honestly, at the moment, your chances with the Princess seem slim. It makes me smile internally. Bitch I am, I know. Although, I don't know what I'd do if you do get the Princess. I don't know whether I'd get closure, ever. All I can say is, till date, i have always compared every guy that has entered my life to my Appa and next, you. They don't quite meet the standard. You said today that you missed me, you said you needed someone to talk to. I miss you too, I think i even love you, dear Mr. Shreesha Iyengar. I wonder if you've ruined me for other men. (Cliche?)

Regards