Panchgani

View from our place

 

View from our place

Venna Lake, Mahableshwar

  Bhutta-wala, Venna Lake, Mahableshwar

Comments are most welcome!!

Guys, men, boys, the male species!

Image courtesy: http://www.postmodernsass.com/blogger/uploaded_images/BoysAreStupid-759160.jpg

You guys are idiots. No, really. You are all idiots! Seriously, your level of understanding is at par with seven year olds. Even an eight year old girl would think from a better angle.

Okay, fine, I'm just pissed off. I mean, the guys I do have a crush on seem to not notice me and the guys I had a crush on look like shit now and I go "Really? I wanted him!?" Seriously! What is with you guys? When I do like you, I am not noticed. Hell! It is not my fault that I am independent. It is not my fault that I do not require help from guys most of the time. 

"Ha Ha! Yo! Shreesha! You drive the vehicle. Yo! Shreesha, lets drink until the girls cook dinner! Yo! Shreesha! Let us veg in front of the T.V watching stupid superhero movies! Yo! Shreesha! Let us talk about sex and make dirty jokes and make the other girls uncomfortable!"

Yes! I enjoy doing all that shit. No, I do not have the patience for shopping. No, I do not have the patience for gossip, I get my earful and mouthful from bitching (did that even sound right?) Yes, I am a huge disappointment as far as the female species go. BUT, HEY!! I AM A GIRL! You want proof? Look at me! And bloody hell, I like you. Yes, you! How the fuck is that not obvious? I am laughing at your every joke (however stupid), I am dressing well (unlike the others :-) ) and I have no idea what else to add. Yes, I help you with the driving and the talks and all that shit, but, I want you too! Hell, when we got drunk, do you know what a tough time I had with keeping my hands and myself in check? What did I want to do, you ask? I don't know, smooch you, rip your shirt off and ask you to bed. No, no. Don't you dare judge me. That is what crushes are all about when you hit the adult side of the 20s. In college, crushes were all about hearts and red and pink and balloons and all that crap. Growing up, you realize all that was indeed crap and need something more. For me, at this juncture, where stress relief factors play a major role, all I can think about is alcohol and sex. Seriously! "Dear Lord, he looks so good, he talks very well. Hmm, quite an intellect, good personality.. hmm.. I think I may even like him.." A couple of days and bham!! You are fantasizing. Don't deny it. You are making a fool of yourself. 

And my crush doesn't even realize any of this. No, no. At 6 feet height and all that knowledge of accountancy, common sense seems to have taken a backseat at least as far as basic human needs go, if you know what I mean. Argh! And he thinks of me as a kid. Well, take that thought and shove it up your ass. I am super pissed off.

And, remember Mr. Shreesha Iyengar? He is another fool. Simply out of this world! He got a job. Yay! Shreesha happy. But, Shreesha pissed off too. Why? Well, since his life has taken a turn for the better, things with his girlfriend are all rosy. I'm happy and all, but, I have been left behind. I'm not talking competition or anything. I'm saying guys should have the basic courtesy to maintain contact with someone who has helped you through difficult times. Wait. Not just guys. People, in general. Why the fuck do I never find myself on the side where I end up leaving people who have helped me? That's right, I am a good girl! :-)

Okay, I am sleepy and bored and addicted to the Lungi Dance song, especially the "Yo! Yo! Honey Singh!" part :-P Needed to rant and I have done the same. 

Good night and Happy Independence Day, in advance!!

Comments are most welcome!!

Girls and our dirty little secrets

Image courtesy: http://favim.com/image/179964/

Here is a guide on girls, for girls, from a girl. Okay, not a guide per se. Every girl thinks she has a dirty little secret, or a couple of them, trust me girl, you're not alone. Here are a couple of them. Ladies, I'm just going to state them!

1. The online friend- We all have at least one online friend. We all love online chatting since it offers the security of anonymity. All that unburdening on a faceless and most probably fake named stranger.. wow! Seriously, why is that a secret? You have an online friend, fine! Mind you, it is mostly of the opposite sex. What!? There's nothing wrong in it!

2. Shaving- Lets face it, hair removal, tedious! I wish I were born without any body hair, except bunch on my head, my eyebrows and eye lashes! And mind you, if I am wearing capris, I'm only going to shave the part that is exposed. So, going top to bottom, it'll mostly be forest and desert! Also, when given an option between a cute sleeveless top and a cute top with sleeves, I'm going to go for the one with the sleeves unless I'm in a perky mood.

3. Ms. Confident- Yeah, yeah, you envy Miss Confident.. yes, you do! We all do. Damn it, how is she able to carry herself with such poise? Damn it, how does is she so sure of herself? Are you kidding me? Behind all that confident facade is just another insecure freak. We all have insecurities, life ain't anything without them! What do you have to live for!? :-o

4. The girl who is a friend- All of you girls who have boy friends or husbands or even a crush on a girl, and when they even talk to another girl, you have hot rage building up inside you. Blinding jealousy. To the point of insanity. Okay, the guys may say, she is just a girl who is a friend. But, that is not what is going on in our heads. According to us, she is out there to get you, our competitor in life. And mind you, even my girlfriends will hate that bitch! And if we are the "girl who is a friend", my nice side goes "come on girl, he doesn't want me.. he wants you!" and my bitchy alter ego goes "hahahahaaha" \m/

5. Guys are idiots- We all think that. Most of the time. Only thing, the tone in which we think it differs. At times it is a loving "Guys are such idiots!" and at times it is "You idiot!" in all are righteous glory. And mind you, right we are.

6. Christian Grey- We have all read 50 shades. If not the whole book, characters like me have read the wikipedia entry of 50 shades (and a couple of steamy scenes :-| *I'm not ashamed!*) and find Christian Grey insanely hot. Yes, characters like me may even say that they find the bondage lifestyle un-feminist and blah blah blah, it is still hot, to an extent when you guys take charge. You know, nowadays guys just aren't "man!".. they're "guys" or the more appropriate "boys".. you know, like "boys will be boys!" I'm not looking for a school boy, lady!

7. We fart- You know, being born and brought up in an almost conservative TamBrahm family, ever since I have been a child, I have been told not to fart, especially in front of others. All this and my male cousins and dad used to fart away to glory. When I questioned this, my mum used to say, you're a girl, you're not supposed to fart in front of others. Well, that has stayed with me and being a "grown up", realization dawned that fating is seriously embarrassing. But, we fart when we are alone. Not a care in the world!

8. Time taken to dress up- Why do you think it takes us time to get dressed? I'm not even talking about getting dressed for a party or some outing or even work. Lets just say, it is a Sunday, we have taken a shower and are dressing up, that is, to stay indoors. You know, pajamas and a comfy t-shirt. How the hell can that take time? Well, there lies the secret? What? You think you guys know it? No, you don't. Girls, lets not be shy, they deserve to know. We don't take time moisturizing and or do any beauty crap. We take time because we like to look at ourselves in the mirror, wearing a "towel dress", striking various poses and dance away. You think that's it? No, we like to determine how we look in bikinis as well. I'm not talking more than that!

9. Underarms- Come on, ladies. 99% of us hate our underarms. We do. We can have beautiful skin texture and that sultry Indian brown colour and have dark patches for underarms. I know, right, eugh! Think about living with it. You guys have it just so easy even showing off your "fasal".. eugh! Yes, we all hate our underarms, have tried various methods, found nothing worked (if you are about to try something, let me save you the trouble, it won't) and now it is time we accept the fact and move on.

10. Ogling at women- No, I'm not talking about you guys. Us, girls. We stare at beautiful women too. And the worst part, the subject of the stare feels proud and we embarrassed. Come on, man, you see a beautiful creature walk past you, the perfect face, the perfect smile, the perfect body, how the fuck can you not stare? And mind you, that does not make us homosexuals or bisexuals for that matter. We are just appreciating beauty! (All you homosexuals and bisexuals, more power to you!)

*Mind you, the above has been written from a plain Jane point of view. If you don't fall in that category, *cough* great!!*

Have I missed anything? Lets have them in the comments section!